How To Be a Good Liberal

Since 08-11-07

From: Lowell J Mix [mailto:ljmix@juno.com]
Sent: Friday, August 10, 2007 4:58 PM
To: CAdams5804@aol.com
Subject: How To Be a Good Liberal...

We hear talk everyday about the liberal left.  But do you really know what they believe?  It is certainly important for everyone to know what they believe.  So here is a list that defines what liberals believe.   You have to be against capital punishment, but support abortion on demand.

You have to believe that businesses create oppression and governments create prosperity.

You have to believe that guns in the hands of law-abiding Americans are more of a threat than U.S. nuclear weapons technology in the hands of Chinese and North Korean Communists.

You have to believe that global temperatures are less affected by cyclical documented changes in the earth's climate and more affected by soccer moms driving SUV's.

You have to believe that defined gender roles are artificial but being homosexual is natural.

You have to believe that the AIDS virus is spread by a lack of federal funding.

You have to believe that hunters don't care about nature, but loony activists who have never been outside of San Francisco do.

You have to believe that self-esteem is more important than actually doing something to earn it.

You have to believe the NRA is bad because it supports certain parts of the Constitution, while the ACLU is good because it supports certain parts of the Constitution.

You have to believe that standardized tests are racist, but racial quotas and set-asides are not.

You have to believe that Hillary Clinton is normal and that she is a very nice person.

You have to believe that the only reason socialism hasn't worked anywhere it's been tried is because the right people haven't been in charge.

You have to believe that homosexual parades displaying drag queens, transvestites, and bestiality should be constitutionally protected, and Christian manger scenes at Christmas should be illegal.

You have to believe that illegal Democratic Party funding by the Chinese government is somehow in the best interest to the United States.

You have to believe that it's okay to give federal workers Christmas Day off but it's not okay to say "Merry Christmas."

You have to believe that this message is a part of a vast right wing conspiracy.